to begin the teacher training. For years I have wanted to go and have listened intently to other teachers stories from their training experiences, and I watched teachers as they struggled with their first classes out of training and quickly evolved into fantastic teachers... As I soaked it all in, I wondered "what will training be like for me?".
Now I am so close (23 days!), and yet I feel so far away. My dialogue is in good shape, (memorized through spine strengthening), my lists are made, my bags are mentally packed in my head and my practice feels great. Despite all of my good planning and excitement, I am clenching my jaw daily out of anxiety (???).
I think that once I arrive in Palm Desert I will relax, because I will be there and in it, going though it. They say that everything changes within you at training and that you literally come out the other end as another person. This is absolutely exciting to me..., but what will that mean for me? What struggles and daemons will I encounter and how will they present themselves, more importantly, how will I react to them? So many questions... in need of being let go of and merely experienced.
In order to deal with this anxious, obsessive stage that I am going through, I have planned a trip to South Central Utah for one (plus?) week. No yoga, minimal dialogue, just pure adventure, good friends, hiking, fresh air and relaxation! ("totally relaxed, nice and loose, comfortable easy flexible") I plan to see as many archaeological sites that I possibly can, SO excited!
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